3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
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