So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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