I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
