why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize