I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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