I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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