I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
