How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
