haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize