Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
