If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
