I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize