I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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