she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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