I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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