The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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