he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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