worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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