My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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