At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize