this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My underwear smells like fireworks.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
