3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize