I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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