I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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