Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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