one might say we're banned from that church
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
