Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
