I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
