Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
