Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
