So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
