i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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