I wanna bring you to show and tell
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
