is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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