The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
