It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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