Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
