I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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