If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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