I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
