I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
