So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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