im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
