mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
