i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
