Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
