he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
