Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize