Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize