I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
