the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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