So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Randomize
