Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
