Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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