It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
