I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
